43. The Beginning of the End

My Old Pointe Shoes

This week marks the beginning of the end. Tomorrow is my last day of high school, I had my last dance performance this weekend, and I have only nine posts after this one till the “Something New 52” project ends. Things are generally coming to a close. This time in my life is the culmination of weeks, months, and years of work.

Dance

As one of my friends mentioned just before our final show, “for the past few years, dance has been the one consistent thing in my life.” And it’s true. Friends come and go, interests change, clothing and trends change, but dance has been consistent throughout my life. Pink tights and ballet slippers, black leotard, hair in a bun. As a three-year old I went to creative movement classes, and distinctly remember my father waiting for a hug at the end of class. In first grade, I started with basic tendus, plies, and center work. Ballet was my first love, and in fifth grade I began to do jazz so I could dance more, though I was devastated that I had to quit soccer because of it. But the dancing was well worth it. Two years later, I added pointe shoes to my standard outfit.

This weekend I opened up my closet and found my two pointe shoe bags, stuffed to the point of near-explosion. Opening the drawstring, I let my pointe shoes fall to the ground. Including the new pair I got for this week’s show, I have twelve pairs. Looking at the shoes sprawled on the floor, I delighted in the fact that my feet used to fit into size 3 shoes (about 5.5 in street shoes). Since then I’ve cut, burned, and stitched my ribbons in all manners; jet glued and shellacked my shoes; and switched from one brand to another. I found what works and what doesn’t, and despite my callused and blistered feet, I’m comfortable. I’ve toiled, sweated, and even fallen, and it’s bittersweet that despite my denial, the end is here. I won’t dance with this group of people again, and I’ll miss all of my friends terribly. But I know that as long as my body keeps working, I’ll keep dancing.

High School

Today was the penultimate day of school, and even though I’m on the final page of the final chapter, I don’t feel a sense of closure. I’m in the process of returning my textbooks, finishing my projects, and taking my last assessments. Everything is still running in full gear, so it doesn’t feel like an ending. The younger grades still have a few weeks of classes, which adds to the feeling that things are still in full swing. I’m not ready for goodbyes yet, but at the same time, I’m so ready to go. I’ve done what I’ve intended, accomplished what I needed and more, and realized the need to extend my horizons beyond the limits of my hometown, my current interests, and my current social circle.

This is just the beginning of the end. In the coming few weeks, there will be more winding-down activities– most notably, graduation– and more bittersweet tears and goodbyes. And of course, more reminders that the best is yet to come.

Firsts This Week:

• The realization that some firsts come in the form of lasts
• My last dance show, including senior goodbyes
• Last full week of school

27. Using a DSLR Camera: The Exposure Triangle

While many people are accustomed to using a point-and-shoot camera for quick images, using a DSLR (digital single-lens reflex) camera is another story, as I learned this week. My father explained the basics of the “Exposure Triangle”– aperture/F-stop, ISO, and shutter speed– that are essential to producing high quality images. By controlling these features of the camera, which are effectively digitized versions of traditional camera parts, one can change the depth of field of an image, the amount of light the camera takes in, and the speed with which the camera takes the picture, respectively. Below are my first attempts at manipulating the aperture and ISO:

About the set-up: This is a statue that my grandfather carved. In the background is a curtain that my mother was ironing. I thought the folds in the fabric complemented the folds in the dress, adding just enough visual interest without overwhelming the composition.

This image is “underexposed,” meaning there is not enough light. This can be fixed by using a higher ISO or a wider aperture/F-stop (lower number). However, note that lowering the aperture/F-stop number also changes the depth of field, and can make the background blurry. Using too high of an ISO lets in too much light, so the image becomes grainy, like pictures from a cellphone camera. Even though this image is dark, the effect is dramatic.

The image above is “overexposed,” so the colors are washed out.

Firsts this Week:

• Played around with a DSLR camera and learned about the “Exposure Triangle”

21. Artsy Photo Shoot Continued, Plus Toothaches

This week I got a tooth implant, so for the past few days I’ve been in quite a bit of pain. This  has made me very distracted. In lieu of my typical long post, I’ve uploaded the pictures my friend took of me a few weeks ago, detailed in this post.

Ballet on a Boulder

In a Field

Atop a Dying Tree

Firsts This Week:

• Got a tooth implant (aka, a metal screw in my bone). Ouch!
• Got accepted to college!

16. Artsy Photo Shoot

If a friend asks you whether you would like to venture into the woods to do an artsy photo shoot, the answer is always yes. This Saturday, I agreed to become a model for my friend’s photography project. I spent the better part of two hours climbing over rocks and tree limbs… in pointe shoes. Wearing ballet clothes and little else, I posed on boulders, in a field, and atop a dying tree. The uneven surfaces coupled with the gusty wind made balancing quite tricky, however I’m certain that the billowing movement of my skirt will make for some intriguing shots. Despite its being a windy November day, surprisingly I was not that cold. Perhaps it was the early afternoon sunlight, or the sheer thrill of frolicking in the fallen leaves. I am lucky enough to be immortalized in film, surrounded by the foliage and shadows of the woods. Amidst the dying leaves, heart pounding, I felt alive.

Since my friend uses a film camera, I will not have the pictures until she develops them. For now, my only memento of this adventure is the grass stains on my pointe shoes.

Firsts This Week:

• Became a model for a few hours while dancing in the woods. I truly feel as if I’ve crossed something off of my bucket list.