49. The Wedding

Let me start out by saying I. Love. Weddings. And marriage. And dresses and shoes and the whole ordeal. Call me a hopeless romantic, but even in today’s world when people tie the knot for the tax benefits, I still believe in fairy tale endings. That being said, I’ve only ever been to three weddings. The first one was my aunt’s when I was 18 months old, so I don’t remember a thing (but I’ve been told that I was a cute dancing baby). The second was a religious service a few months after the couple had been married in a civil one, so I didn’t really witness the nuptials. And this week, I attended an Orthodox Jewish wedding.

There are a number of customs that are observed at this type of wedding. First, the men and the women are separated for the entirety of the function. Regardless of whether a guest knows the bride or the groom, the women sit on one side, and the men sit on the other side. The reception is also separated– a mechitza, or divider, cuts right through the dance floor, separating the women’s side (the dance floor and tables) from the men’s. Everyone is expected to dress modestly, covering to at least the elbow and the knee. Women may wear skirts or dresses, but not pants.

Orthodox Jewish couples generally marry young, as both the bride and the groom must be virgins until they marry. During the courting process, the bride and the groom are always accompanied by a chaperone. The first time the two will ever be alone together is after they are married.

The actual service is held under a chupa, or canopy. The groom is pale as he is led to the chupa, because both he and the bride have been fasting in honor of their wedding. Once the bride arrives at the chupa, she circles the groom seven times. The groom places a ring on her index finger, and they are married. This ring must be a perfect gold circle, with no marks.

The reception follows soon after, with kosher food catered from outside the venue. The bride and groom steal away for a bit, to eat, and to meet each other alone for the first time. When they return, they will be expected to dance the night away, until the wedding is over in the wee hours of the morning. After pre-wedding jitters, fasting, the marriage itself, and meeting alone for the first time, dancing for hours on end must be taxing on the newlyweds. But as with all newlyweds, the wedding is only the beginning of a joyous adventure ahead.

Note: Though there are many more customs and traditions observed at an Orthodox Jewish wedding, for simplicity’s sake I included only a few. I apologize for any subtleties or details I may have missed.

Firsts This Week:

• Attended an Orthodox Jewish wedding

47. Vegan Day 5

Breakfast

Apple Cardamom Muffin

 

Lunch

Indian food leftovers!

 

Dinner

Salad with pear slices, cherry tomatoes, walnuts, and dried cranberries

Assorted tomatoes with basil and olive oil (caprese salad minus the mozzarella)

Baguette with hummus and tahini

 

Snacks

Cherries

Peach

Strawberries

Chocolate chips

Pita chips

Falafel chips

 

Friday

What do vegans do at parties? They socialize, and then awkwardly avoid the hostess when she asks why they won’t eat her food. “Is good, is good,” she assures. “What, why don’t you eat milk? Trying to be like your mom?”

“I’m doing an experiment. You know, just… trying something out.”

“You start your experiment tomorrow.”

It is one of the unspoken rules that if a Jewish mother offers you food, you never refuse it. Ever. To avoid an uncomfortable social situation, I quietly sidestepped the massive amounts of labneh (a strained yogurt spread), four types of Quiche, and pasta and scooped some salad onto my plate. The mesclun salad contained some goat cheese in it, which I avoided. Naturally, the tomato, basil, and mozzarella salad contained dairy, so I picked out only the tomatoes. Which brings me to the vegan lesson of the day: eat before you go. If you’re unsure of whether there will be suitable food for you at a social event, plan ahead, or offer to bring something you can eat. Don’t put the hostess under more stress when she has twenty other people to feed and she’s having a meltdown that there’s not enough food for third servings.

So I made it work. The only truly difficult part of the evening was skipping the desserts, as some of the cakes were begging me to try them. I convinced myself that I didn’t need the sugar anyway (true, considering the massive amounts of chocolate chips I ate earlier), and poured myself a cup of tea. But I’ll have to try “veganizing” some of my favorite desserts…

22. The Perks of Being a Jew on Christmas

To the people who are not busy celebrating the birth of Jesus, Christmas is quite boring. From hearing Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” since before Thanksgiving to the holiday shopping hysteria, Christmas seems like a year’s worth of preparation for a few hours of enjoyment. If you’re not Christian, there’s not much to do besides staying home or subscribing to the Jewish stereotype of a “Chinese food and movies” Christmas. While I did improve my movie literacy by watching “Pretty Woman”, at about two p.m. I decided it was time for an adventure. I ended up taking my siblings for a drive. The roads were empty, so I took the liberty of cruising at the whopping speed of 7 miles per hour (much to the dismay of my brother and sister, who were hoping for a joyride) and parking as horribly as I could in the parking lot of CVS. Even CVS offered diminished fun on Christmas– due to Massachusetts “Blue Laws”, they were only permitted to sell certain classes of items. We ended up buying half a gallon of milk, before taking a circuitous route home.

Happy holidays and have a wonderful new year!

Firsts This Week:

• Watched “Pretty Woman”, “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”, and started “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.
• Tried to have fun while buying milk